A street;A stump; it”s 1959:

I am Bi-polar. I use few drugs. Exercise is my escape, the doctors watch my every move as if I am ready to explode into a homicidal rage at any moment. Sometimes, I say:Boo! and laugh, “Mike, this is not the least bit funny.” I must say my house is filled with a woman so religious, I swear she has a phone tied right to God Himself! I have a 30 year old son who loves animals but is afraid to be on a bus, social anxiety? I have to walk 12+ miles a day to unwind my head. I know of one spot that is “my” spot down the longest dead end street you have ever seen. On the side of the road is a stump where you can sit and look at emerald green fields, bored cows, the sky, the clouds are all one. Nature rules here. No people,cars,houses, just silence. If you sit and be still, and your breathing slows down; I raise my head,close my eyes,inhale,let the air out slowly. I feel that I can make it another day, I need this place. No pill can give me what this place does. Why can”t the doc”s see that? Nature, this place, and 1959 when I was young reminds me that I can do it, One foot at a time.

Meditation brings wisdom;lack of meditation leaves ignorance.

Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back,

and choose the path that leads to wisdom.

-Buddha

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It is such fun to get a phone call from my sister! Think I will put it on speaker.

Hey sister of mine! “Michael, the famous writer, is that why you don”t call?” Sis, I have yet to make ten cents as a writer;”then why waste your time?” because I love to write! “Oh, Michael, the war thing is over, no one cares! Sis,”Michael,Listen to me,I am your older sister! stop thinking about the past; mom was right. MOM, SHE HAS BEEN DEAD 20 YEARS. “Well you have never been the same after you came back.” Its called P.T.S.D. sis. “well I hope your not talking about war stuff, no one cares.” They should care about war sis. “They just don”t MIchael”. “You write about your weight loss, exercise, food knowledge. How did you learn all of that?” Sis, it is hard to change your life style, I studied, found smart people; now I will pass it on to others. This call has been all about me. What about You? “Well, your older sister has her own problems, but I need to find smart people to help me. I will tell you when I have fixed my problems;just like you are fixing yours.Remember the moments we can talk at all are getting fewer and fewer, remember that I love you very much, but I have to go, your turn to call next time; promise? I will, sis! I love you as well.